"It's often said that we all have a novel in us. Or at least, a tabloid exposé. Who the hell has a piano concerto in them, and what's more, what kind of surgery is required to remove it without causing serious trauma to the patient? This is the story of the surgery and the trauma." Matthew Halligan is a washed-up journalist and jobbing musician. When contacted by a childhood music teacher who is now in prison, he tells how he got his first opus from brain to page to stage, while eking out an existence as a jazz pianist round the bazaars. A tale of sex'n'violins, tricky woodwind passages, prison choirs and preposterous conductors. Well, one preposterous conductor in particular, who makes such merry hell of the proceedings that thoughts turn murderous... Warning: if you have romantic notions about the elegance, charm and intelligence of musicians, pour yourself a stiff drink before proceeding... They usually do.